Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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