i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
