girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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