are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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