You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
