I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You're like the curious george of whores
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
