i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
