Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
