I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Im part way to drunk.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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