Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
