He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
