Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
