I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My vagina just recognized that song.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
