Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
