I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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