wat bout pragnant strippers??
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
