You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
