you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
