Heybabeimwearingurpanties
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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