Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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