another moral hangover. fuck.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
