Just fell off a train. Bad.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
