Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
