i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
