if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
