I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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