I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
