if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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