dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
