Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
