Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
