i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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