Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
