But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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