remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
