i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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