Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
