My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
