He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
