please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
