Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Shame - the story of my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
