She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
