Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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