i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
