i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
