Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
COCAINE IS GR8
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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