Sponge bath it is.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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