she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
