It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
