WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
